About a week ago, I was trimming Seth’s toenails, and he insisted that I put the clippings in a specimen jar. Imagine my horror, then, as I was reading him bedtime stories this evening, glanced over, and saw this on his dresser:

Didn’t I throw those clippings away? What crazy science made them turn pink and sprout?! Also, ewwwww!!

Upon closer inspection, I realized that they were…honeysuckle stamens. Phew! Call off the haz-mat team (for today, at least).

Seth-isms for the day:

Said to me, while playing in the dirt pit: If you said that, I would be 99 frustrated, and bang you to heaven, I think.

Said to no one in particular at dinner: We’re just freakin’ out at the table with our soup next to us.

We were playing “Baby stuck in a bubble”, based on Bubble Trouble yesterday, when we had this conversation:

Seth, pulling out his screwdriver and sorta poking me with it: me check if you’re hurt
Betsy: hmm, what is that tool called?
S: the check-if-you’re-hurt tool
S, getting out his wrench and waving that around me: now me see if you’re hurt
B: what is that tool called?
S: the see-if-you’re hurt tool
Seth waves a piece of wood with screws hanging off it, around my head
B: now what is that tool called?
S: the spinning-around-your-head tool….now say, ‘Who is this handsome guy?’
B: (laughs uncontrollably)

Seth has come up with a few gems the past few days…

When I told him that he’ll get one of Grandma’s molasses cookies at her house: Me not like the flavor of molasses cookies. Me DO like the flavor of chocolate cookies.

While having a conversation about his newest interests, blood and bones, we were talking about things in nature that do or don’t have blood: Is there blood in our drinks?

Apropos of nothing: Cookie Monster will tear you apart.

Board Meeting Minutes
Eelfang Household

Bathtub, 4/1/2011 6:30pm

Attendees: Seth, Chairman; Todd, Vice-Chairman


Chairman announces his entry in the following fashion: “GUESS WHO COMING? GUESS WHO COMING? GRRRRRRRRRR SETH!”

Chairman requests meeting, “LIKE DADA WORK!”, in the bathtub. Vice-Chairman calls the meeting to order.

First order of business – exploratory committee formed to investigate Wiggleworms. The following interview takes place:

Vice-Chairman: Looks like wiggleworm is splashing in the bathtub.
Chairman: HAHAHA! (splashes)

Vice-Chairman: Why are you a wiggleworm?
Chairman: BECAUSE ME WIGGLY! (splashes)

Meeting Recess called to allow Vice-Chairman to scrub the Chairman.

Meeting resumes.

Chairman introduces new board member, “MAMA!” Mama appears to be a crumpled-up washcloth stuffed in a plastic cup.

Vice-chairman notes the large amount of liquid dripping out of Mama, which has the appearance of bathwater, dripping out of a washcloth. Chairman corrects this observation by noting that “MAMA PEEING ON ME!”

Mama proceeds to pee on Chairman’s leg, Chairman’s hand, and on Vice-Chairman’s head.

Vice-chairman submits his report on the Bathwater to (non-pretend) Urine ratio. The Chairman has successfully met the organization’s goals of a 0% urine concentration in the bathwater. The board elects to award the Chairman with a performance bonus, payable in the form of allowing him to drink the shower water.

The board takes a shower to rinse off, and the Chairman collects his bonus vigorously. The shower ends, and the board dries themselves.

The Chairman re-opens discussion on the Wiggleworm issue:

Vice-Chairman: I don’t know, what?

The Chairman is dressed in pajamas and teeth are brushed.

The meeting is adjourned to allow for the reading of books and serving of bedtime snack.

Betsy: Man, I can’t get this Justin Bieber song out of my head! …It’s probably my own fault, though, since I listened to it 3 times in a row today.
Todd: You what?
Betsy: C’mon! It’s a good song!
(Betsy starts singing “Somebody to Love”)
Seth: Mama! No sing! Yucky!
(Betsy stops singing. Seth thinks for a moment.)
Seth: Me like “Old McDonald” song.

When Seth is doing just about anything, he has a cute habit of saying “Hey, ___er.” He’ll be running around and say, “Hey, runner!” or he’ll be helping me cook dinner in the kitchen, and will say, “Hey, cooker!” or “Hey, baker!”

Last night, he had to go potty all-of-a-sudden as we were finishing eating dinner. I pulled him out of his high chair in a mad rush, and we hauled to the bathroom. Fortunately he hadn’t started until after I got him on the potty, and then we had a moment to breathe. A minute later, he started bearing down, and, in a low whisper, out came, “Hey, pooper.”

Seth and Todd dancing around in the living room, with Seth laughing hysterically the whole time. I’m working on putting together another video, but this one needed to be stand-alone, unedited. Pure joy!

Seth and Dad dancing from Eel Fang on Vimeo.

I posted this on Facebook the other day, but the video was set to Private – if you tried (and failed) to watch it there, try again now.

Seth: Goo!
Todd: Close – the cover to Sonic Youth’s “Goo” album is the black & white illustration by Raymond Pettibon. Your shirt has the cover art from Sonic Youth’s album “Dirty”. Pretty good guess, though.
Seth: Ooioo…
Todd: That’s right! Dad is wearing his t-shirt from the psychedelic Japanese band OOIOO. It’s usually pronounced “oh-oh-eye-oh-oh”, not as one long vowel sound like you made, but even adults make that mistake all the time.
Seth: Ab Ba!
Todd: I’m sorry, what did you just say?! No son of mine is going to listen to 70′s Swedish disco bands. You go straight to your room, young man!

what's that behind you?
What’s that behind you?

karate CHOP!
Karate CHOP!

ha ha!
Ha ha!

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