During our snack break of crackers and nectarines, a ladder truck from the local fire dept came and parked behind us. We walked over to go check it out, and one of the firefighters said, ‘climb on in!’ Seth got to sit in the driver’s seat for a long time, as no other kids had gathered yet, while the firefighter, Todd and I chatted. Eventually other kids came by, so he had to give them a turn, but took two more turns later.

We went back to our spot on the beach and hung out a bit more, before making our way to the bakery for a treat. We split a scone and cookie between the three of us, and looked out the window upon: a bus, a motorcycle, a USPS mailbox, and a ferry zooming across Elliott Bay. Seriously, if Seth could talk and describe to us exactly what his perfect day would consist of, this would have been it.

• Ca-ca – cracker, cereal, clock
• Ca – a bird, and what a bird says, car/truck/vehicle, his Richard Scarry car book
• nnna-nnna – car horn
• Ba-bah – his giraffe, bottles of any kind
• hoooo-hooo (<–kind of a whistling noise) – dog
• haaaa-haaa – anything mail-related (mail truck, carrier, letter, stamp, mail box, ups or fed ex truck – he can also spot ‘em from a mile away)
• Mama
• Dada
• Papa – Todd’s dad <--interestingly, this is the only grandparent he has a name for. There have been hints of grandma-like words, but nothing has stuck
• nnnnnah – moon, airplane, balloon, beans (of any kind, including coffee beans), phone, spoon
• Yaya! – water <--said many times a day, very enthusiastically
• Ha! – hot
• Da – cat, spider, lots of other animals, also the name of his lavender-stuffed bear
• Na-na – “read this book!”, color with crayons/pencils
• pfffft – cheese
• ttthhht – bug, keys <--I'm super impressed that even in Seth's own language, keys and cheese rhyme
• Da’an – batteries, vacuum
• Ba’am (ba’am) – pine cone, mango, lemon
• Brrah – elephant
• mm mm – penguin
• ooh! ooh! – monkey
• sssss – snake, ice
• dada (whispered) – pasta
• op op op – chicken, egg

Seth has also been having fun with language; he cracks up at certain words, like “Hippopotamus,” or when we correct his calling milk “Yaya” by saying, “No, milk!” Funniest things ever to that kid. He also enjoys waving hi to people and things, and thinks it’s super funny to wave at really specific things. He’ll wave at my hair, so I’ll say, “Hi, hair!” Waves at the potty, so I say, “Hi, potty!” etc, etc. I might get sick of it if his giggles weren’t so darn cute.

I have known you for quite a while, so can say with confidence that you’re only getting better with age. Happy birthday, Ddot!

Love, yer B

No, really, we just stopped. Right before that, we had had a rash of really hot weather, and especially at night, nursing for 30-60 minutes seemed like the worst idea ever. Then I got a cold, and I took copious amounts of cold medicine simply to function, and bottle-fed Seth instead of trying to research if what I was taking was okay to pass along in my milk. One bottle led to another bottle, and then another…

I really beat myself up about it for a while. I had pictured Seth’s and my nursing relationship lasting longer, or, at the very least, involving some sort of weaning. A few months later, I read a story by another mama in the La Leche League magazine, who suddenly stops nursing her son while being pregnant with her daughter. It sounds dumb, but when I read that, I was so relieved to know that I wasn’t the only person who just suddenly stopped nursing their child. Fortunately, Seth never seemed too torn up about it, and we were already firmly attached. And, for better or for worse, I didn’t have to deal with any of the issues that come up nursing an older baby/toddler — ooh, like biting! I have been bit many times and in many places by Seth, but am pretty happy with my chest not being one of them.

As much as I make it out to be a roller coaster, I cherish Seth’s and my time nursing. I’m hoping I’ll have the opportunity to try adoptive nursing again; next time around, I’ll have a better idea of how to get my supply going, and can practice not feeling awkward about nursing in public.

Splashing around in the pool (before the swimsuits started coming off).

Fun with sprinklers!

Riding Saben’s big wheel. Seth never figured out the pedals, but did pretty good walking the bike around Flintstones-style.

Splashdown!

Splashdown x2!

Annika got some ballerina tutus for her birthday. Saben is modeling them for everyone.

Three cousins and Grandma.

America’s Next Top Baby Model

Strutting around the yard

Seth had been getting Aria’s, my and even some of Grandma Gale’s, milk, along with homemade goat-milk based formula, via the SNS and bottles in California. Aria’s willingness to give Seth her milk, and put up with some awkward hassles during the whole thing, was a truly amazing, and not the easiest, gift for her to give him. I’m pretty sure he drank the last of Aria’s milk on the plane, so when we touched ground in WA, we were sans breast milk. We mixed up a new batch of goat formula, and I don’t know whether it was the stress of travel, or going from a lot to very little breast milk, or what, but Seth had super weird poos the next day or two (if you could even call them poos – they were basically brown liquid). Upon learning that goat milk can sometimes be tough on newborns’ kidneys, we made the switch to store-bought organic formula. It was kind of annoying to mix up, as we mixed it up as needed, and then had to pour it into the SNS baggie to give to Seth. So we still had to wash bottles, the SNS’s, and throw away plastic bags. Once Seth and I got the hang of it, though, I realized that I could simply stick the end of the SNS that would normally go into the baggie, right into the bottle. As long as he wasn’t too squirmy, we were set! I did spill a bottle’s worth a handful of times, but this cheater’s method saved a lot of prep time, as well as cleaning.

At some point (I wish I could remember exactly when!), Seth and I really hit our stride. Todd or I could mix up a bottle lickety-split, I’d plop boppy and baby onto my lap, latch Seth on to me and the handy SNS straw, and we would be off to nursing bliss. We also comfort nursed in addition to feeding, and that was wonderful too. Seth and I had learned how to do this as a team, and he was patient with me as my learning curve was a bit more steep :] We also received loads of support and encouragement from Todd, Gale, Heather, Aria, Brandy, Holli, and our moms, among others. It really does take a village…to adoptive breastfeed!

I was still pumping occasionally while Seth napped; and pumping + nursing Seth every once in a while, though that was quite a lot to juggle at once. I checked on the girls in the shower nearly every morning, delighted with being able to produce mama milk. I could even squirt wee little streams of milk! I also got blocked ducts — not fun. But, in comparing notes with other nursing mamas, as well as pumping for twenty minutes only to get maybe .25 oz, I couldn’t help but be discouraged about my supply. I drank Mother’s Milk tea, took herbal supplements, and co-slept – what else could I do? I could point to three possible causes for this — Seth slept almost through the night (due to formula filling him up? or just being an awesome sleeper at night?) so we weren’t nursing around the clock, and/or I hadn’t been aggressive enough building up my supply before he was born, and/or my everloving hormone imbalance. Fortunately a number of people reassured me that he was getting more milk from me than I would be able to pump, and besides, it was more about the closeness than nutrition.

I got a really special present that first mother’s day from Auntie Heather that is a heart of my milk and a heart of Aria’s milk, cast in resin, and made into a necklace. A friend also helped on the nutrition front. A nursing mama had time and abundance enough to give us a number of bags of her “boob juice” (on top of tandem nursing – whoa!). Every time I defrosted a bag and gave it to Seth, I imagined it being such a special treat – like only ever eating fro yo or ice milk or something, and then getting gelato!

Despite all this good stuff, it was still hard. Maybe I was suffering a bit from post-adoption depression (sounds made up, but it’s totally a thing :/), or maybe feeling isolated as new mothers sometimes do, or whatever, but when Seth was around 7 months old, I started feeding him from a nippled bottle more and more. Todd or a grandparent had given him these, but I rarely had to this point. We had nursed and nursed and nursed, and then…stopped.

To be continued! Soon, I promise!