the eelfang chronicles

Having guests come over is one of my favorite things. We don’t get out of the house that much anymore (especially Betsy), so it’s very nice to have entertainment come to us. It also gives us a chance to eat very quickly while you pose for pictures:

Kat holding, Todd eating

Even if you are only in town for a short period of time, like my cousin was, it’s still enough time to come by and hold Seth. Lara got to be the first member of my extended family to hold him:

Lara and Seth

He was a bit grumpy during their visit, but since he’s a very mellow, well-behaved baby 90% of the time, you have pretty good odds of seeing adorable faces like this:

What are you looking at?

Sweatsuits and tongues

Heck, if you come over soon enough, you might even be able to sample some of the delicious squash nut bread that Betsy made Saturday morning:

Just let us know when you’d want to stop by!

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Side-story: Seth and I took a bath together tonight. I got in the bathtub and made sure that the water was warm enough while Betsy undressed him, and then she handed him to me. During the hand-off, he was a little freaked out from being undressed and moved around, and he swung his little hand out for whatever he could grab. In this case, it was a big patch of armpit hair, which he proceeded to yank towards him as hard as he could. We both tried to pry his fingers open, but he was white-knuckled in his determination to pull out as much hair as he could. He let go in what was probably only 15 seconds, but to my armpits, it felt like an hour.

As you’ve probably noticed by now (unless you are reading this via an RSS feed), we updated the look of the blog over the weekend. My hope is to update the picture in the manner on a monthly, or at least quarterly, basis as Seth grows bigger and bigger.

I also changed the subtitle of the blog from “An Adoption Blog” to “A Family Blog”. There’s a few reasons why, and they seem interesting enough to warrant mentioning:

1) If all I was writing about was Seth’s adoption, we’d run out of topics in the very near future. The adoption process isn’t 100% over yet (topic for another post), but the finish line is definitely in site. But the process of being a family has just begun.

2) The old title felt almost like this blog was speaking to the topic of adoptions in general. There’s two sub-reasons why that doesn’t work – a) I hardly have the knowledge or authority to write about adoptions in general, and b) our adoption was so extraordinarily open and positive that it feels like we’re setting false expectations for the rest of the adoptive community if we represent our experience of “amazing, wonderful, emotionally and physically healthy birthfamily builds relationship with lucky adoptive parents” as the norm.

Also, can you tell that I’m writing this post during work hours? The part of my brain that segments thoughts into list items and sub-list items is on full active duty right now. I promise to return to the meandering paragraphs that go nowhere which define my style next time I write.

3) There are certain terms and/or uses of language that are generally looked down upon in the adoptive community. For example, it’s considered “correct” to say that a child “was adopted”, rather than that he “is adopted”. It’s the difference between considering the adoption to be an important event that brought the family together, and considering the adoption to be a defining characteristic of who the child is. The third reason for the title change follows those same lines – if this blog is primarily about Seth and our family and Aria’s family and how we all relate to each other, the adoption was a very important moment in that history, but it’s not the definition of who we are, what we mean to each other and what we write about.

So that’s why we changed it.

More pictures coming soon! But I should get back to work now…

To our sweet boy, Popeye, little dude, bright eyes, little man,

You are one month old today! It almost feels like much longer than a month, as sitting in the hospital with Aria and family, still having not met you, feels like forever ago. Was there a time when you were not in the world? You get cuter (and heavier) every day, and every day brings new surprises.

You love being held, falling asleep in our arms (and waking up if set down for a moment), looking at the light and out the window, being marched around the house, nursing, lying in bed with Mommy and Daddy on either side of you, your baby lounger, and our pinkies.

You dislike your cosleeper, having us pay attention to something else (even when being held), your recent PKU test at the doctor’s, and being too excited to go to sleep.

You weigh 10 lb 4 oz (we’ll find out on Monday), and are 20.5 inches long. You are as small now as you will ever be, and grow more every day. Some day you’ll even walk, talk, play soccer, make jokes, have big hairy man feet…This really blows our minds, which is why we’re taking it one day at a time, and trying to enjoy your little self just as you are this moment. You are truly a gift straight from God, by way of Aria and Ethan.

All our love,
Mommy and Daddy

Guess we can’t fool you guys! Yes, the last baby in the previous post was not Seth.

That baby is actually Aria – after we posted a picture last week, she sent us her picture, and our jaws dropped at how similar they were, even down to the pose:

You’ll be happy to know that his cute birthmark remains unfaded, that his eyes are still the same color as they’ve always been (Aria’s are a bit darker in this picture), and that he has not been replaced by any sort of mechanical automaton.

One of these photos is not like the others – can you spot the difference?

(The last one is taken by a different photographer and with a different camera – don’t let that fool you.)

Seth went to the doctor today, and weighed in at 9lb 7 oz. That’s nearly a pound more in the last week! Everything was healthy and happy – at least, until the PKU test, which he did not like at all. Nearly broke our hearts with his crying during that. But he calmed down quickly, and he’s happy today.

My mom took this picture on Monday, and it’s one of my favorite pictures of him. I especially like how clear his birthmark is.

One thing I’m learning is that, with a newborn in the house, time slows. His cries last an eternity, as does the thought process of what to try next to soothe him. But so does the feeling of his fingers playing the piano up and down my side while nursing. And the bathroom trip being put off for another hour, spending a whole afternoon studying baby-wearing techniques, or just “watching Sethivision,” pausing the program to plant a big kiss on the body part nearest to me… The old items on my to-do list are still there (I took out the garbage the other day! And sent three emails in the last week!), and there are a whole new batch of baby-related things (my man goes through outfits like crazy!) but none so immediate and important as pouring loving care out on our wee Seth. To heck with clocks, I am in love.

My two favorite guys


Skin-to-skin time in our new Moby wrap!

Todd: I’m thinking about shaving off my beard. I think the scratchiness of it bothers him when we cuddle face-to-face, and that’s one of my favorite times. Maybe I should give it a few more days, though, just to confirm that theory – he might just be bothered that my beard is not a breast.

Betsy: You could always try latching him on (have him start nursing at Todd’s breasts) and see what he thinks. That would be a new and unique experience for both of you, I’m sure.

Todd: Uh, I think I’m going to pass on that. On the other hand, if we did, and we took pictures – think of the blackmail potential once he reaches high school! He’d have to do everything we say!

Here’s what a typical day looks like for us, during our first week back at home:

7:00am – Seth starts fussing a little bit. Betsy starts nursing him while Todd goes to the kitchen to prepare a bag for the Supplemental Nursing System. When Todd returns, Seth starts getting the mix of formula from the SNS and a bit of milk from Betsy, and Todd lies down and tries to sleep a little more. Seth finishes eating, and Betsy tries to sleep a little more too. Seth is awake! Neither Betsy or Todd are allowed to sleep any more. Diaper is changed.

8:00 – Todd takes a shower, and starts preparing breakfast. Betsy is walking around, holding Seth, while he coos contentedly (hopefully) or fusses and whines a bit (more realistic). Todd eats his breakfast, and then takes his turn holding Seth while Betsy eats her now cold breakfast. Diaper is changed.

10:00 – Todd logs on to his laptop and starts his workday. Betsy prepares another SNS bag, and nurses for a while. Seth pretends to fall asleep. Betsy puts him in his little recliner in the bathroom so she can take a shower. Seth is awake! Betsy soothes him a little longer, and he falls asleep for another five minutes. Betsy tries again to get in the shower. Seth is awake! This is repeated for an hour before the shower actually happens. Diaper is changed.

12:00 – Seth wants to eat again. Or maybe he’s hot. Or cold. Or bored. Or excited. Or trying to use baby sonar to map his surroundings through echolocation. Whatever the cause, he’s crying. Betsy tries a dozen different things, each of which makes him stop crying for about 30 seconds before he kicks it back into gear. Todd is trying to focus on work, but it’s proving rather difficult. Finally, the secret combination is found, and he quiets down for a while, maybe sleeping up for 5 minutes before waking up again. Diaper is changed.

2:00 – Todd finishes his workday. He’s working only 4 hours a day during the first two weeks back at home. Seth is immediately put into his arms by an exhausted Betsy. There’s a little bit of contented daddy snuggle time before Seth is awake! And hungry! And Daddy doesn’t have the appropriate equipment for nursing! Seth goes back to Betsy, and Todd works on putting together lunch for the adults. Diaper is changed.

3:00 – Seth settles down somewhat (but is still awake), and the family gathers on the couch to watch a movie. Diaper is changed.

5:00 – After some more nursing, Seth finally settles down for a nap, and is asleep for more than 5 minutes for the first time all day. Todd and Betsy wearily crawl into bed to nap as well. The doorbell rings, and we have guests! Seth sleeps really well during the entire visit, and everyone comments how mellow he is. Diaper is changed, but he hardly notices.

8:00 – Guests leave, and Todd and Betsy try to decide if food or sleep is the more dire need. Eventually, they decide to eat some delicious food that an extremely kind guest brought over. Meanwhile, Seth has been sleeping peacefully for the last 3 hours. If he goes too long between eating sessions, he’ll wake up really hungry and angry, and it’ll be difficult getting him to nurse. So, we try to wake him up, and cross our fingers that he’ll wake up just long enough to eat and then go back to sleep. Diaper is changed.

9:00 – Nursing is done, but he’s still awake. Todd and Betsy would like to go to sleep now. They try to make him go to sleep.

10:00 – Seth is awake! Todd and Betsy would really like to go to sleep now. They try to make him go to sleep.

11:00 – Seth is awake! Todd and Betsy would really like to go to sleep now. They try to make him go to sleep.

12:00 – Seth is awake! Todd and Betsy would REALLY, REALLY like to go to sleep now. They try to make him go to sleep. Seth finally decides that he is good and ready to go to sleep on his own terms, and drifts off to sleep.

4:00 – Seth is a very good sleeper once he finally gets to sleep. He would sleep through the entire night if we let him, but as mentioned before, we need to wake him up or he’ll get too hungry. We hope and pray that he wakes up just long enough to nurse and fall back asleep again. This works about 90% of the time, which is not bad at all.

7:00 – We start all over again!

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In short, the first week has been somewhat tiring (late to go to bed, early to rise, no naps during the middle of the day), but since he’s such a good sleeper at night, we can’t complain too much. His naps are weirdly timed, and almost always happen at the times when we can’t join him in sleep…

Having guests come over is the highlight of our day! Let us know if you’d like to come over for a visit. This is my last week at home before returning to work full-time, so this would be a good week to come over.

And here’s some pictures! Our blog is acting as our guestbook for visitors:

Aaron and Gina, Tues 1/6

Naomi, Doug, Ben, Landon, Hillary and Cory, Sat 1/10

Scott, Bobby and Liam, Sun 1/11

Also, we’re going to be posting more pictures to our Flickr than we post in actual blog entries. If you want to see everything, there’s a link to our Flickr on the right side of the page.

Well, if you were hoping to see Seth with his umbilical cord stump still attached, you’re too late! The rest of him is still quite adorable, though, so it’s still worth the visit to come see us…

Sunday afternoon was spent doing Christmas with my immediate family. With 6 adults and 3 children under 4 years old in a 700 sq ft house, it was a bit chaotic, to say the least. I was very happy to see everyone, though, especially Annika and Saben, who were extremely cute as always. Every time I see Saben, he blows me away with how much he has grown up.

I cooked dinner, along with some help from my Mom, and my parents did all of the dishes afterwards. I told them that them doing the dishes was the best Christmas present I could have hoped for. I think they thought I was kidding.

Todd’s family over for Christmas

On Monday, we relaxed most of the day. Seth didn’t want to sleep, and was nursing or looking around or sucking on his hands or waving his hands around all day long. In the evening, Betsy’s parents and brother came over, bringing dinner with them (and also doing the dishes after dinner). It was a pretty laid-back evening as well.

Grandpa Gordon and Seth

On Tuesday, we went to our local doctor for the first time, and introduced her to Seth. The check-up went smoothly again, and there were no concerns. After the appointment, Seth reversed the previous day’s trend and ended up sleeping almost all day long. We had to wake him repeatedly to make sure he ate frequently enough.

Here’s a few pictures from when he was awake:

The evening ended with a visit from Aaron and Gina. It was great to see them, and it was nice to have a conversation with Aaron about something other than babies, one of my first such conversations in the last two weeks.

Today, I started working again a bit from home. I’m easing back into my work – 4 hours today and Thursday, working from home; 8 hours in the office on Friday; 4 hours Mon-Wed next week, working from home; Thursday off; 8 hours in the office on Friday. It’s been a good trial run to see how Betsy can manage without my assistance. Seth was on another of his “stay awake all day” trends today, so it was somewhat difficult for her, but they survived with minimal assistance from me during that 4 hour stretch.

I’ve got a pile of dishes calling my name, so I better get to work on those. I’ll post another update as soon as I can!