the eelfang chronicles

Who needs money when you look this cool?

We knew what we were getting into was going to be a challenge. Seattle is one of the most expensive cities in which to live in the U.S., and while I make a fairly good living, it’s still pretty firmly in the middle-class range. Trying to support a family of 3 (or more, someday) and pay a mortgage, all on a single-income – it wasn’t going to be easy.

We did all the calculations, though, and as long as we continued to live a pretty frugal lifestyle – eating at home, borrowing movies from the library, riding the bus to work – it looked like everything would work. We’d be starting with a healthy cushion which we’d have to dig into a bit, but as my earning potential continued to rise, we’d get back into the positive fairly quickly:

Insert: Simple Line Graph, with the y axis labeled “net worth” and the x axis labeled “time.” The line starts at a pleasingly high point on the y axis, dipping slightly before starting to rise again in a jaunty manner. The overall effect is not unlike a lazy summer smile.

Then things got a little more complicated. We found out that our path to becoming a family was going to involve a lot more people than just the two of us and an obstetrician. As some of the institutions helping facilitate that process require compensation, we were also going to be starting with a much smaller cushion than expected, as well.

We did the calculations and projections again, and with some much-needed assistance from our families, it looked like we’d just be able to pull it off. It was going to be tight – very tight – but we could tighten our belt a notch or two further, Betsy might be able to put in a few hours here and there working from home for the farm, and I had a good job with a strong company with reasonable salary increases on the horizon. If push came to shove, we just sell our house and go back to apartment living for a year or two.

Insert: Graph #2. This line starts at lower altitude than the first, and immediately swoops down rapidly in a dizzying dive. The line skitters and screeches across the bottom, throwing off sparks and smoke, before being wrestled back up by the heroic crew. The line, a little battered and beaten but flying steady, exits the right side of the graph at a reasonable level.

Then as the process unfolded, expenses from the agency came in ways that we weren’t anticipated. Dings here and there to the pocketbook that started to add up quickly. The starting cushion was deflating at an alarming pace.

And then the economy crashed, and suddenly, “the reasonable salary increases on the horizon” that I had been expecting started slipping further and further over the horizon and out of sight. Layoffs were happening all around me and the valuable marketable skills I was developing became just another commodity in a buyer’s market. Finally, my company announced that they were instituting salary cuts across the board for all of the employees still left standing.

Insert: Graph #3 – the line is floating low, just above the rooftops of the city below, when it gets snagged against a radio tower and OH THE HUMANITY

So, we’re at a point right now where we’re looking at our options. Terms like mortgage adjustments, short sale, and other such fine instruments of financial torture are being tossed around pretty regularly and we’re doing a lot of research into our options. We’re continually looking at ways to shave a few dollars off of our monthly spending, but at this point, any further cuts would be no longer cutting off fat but shaving pretty near the bone. If we seem a bit frazzled now and then over the next few months, this’ll be why.

But the one thought I keep returning to is this: nothing truly valuable is at risk. We will always be well-fed, we will remain warm and dry and sheltered, and we will all remain deeply in love with each other, and have the love and support of our families. We might end up losing some of the investment we’ve made in this particular piece of real estate, and I might not have this particular piece of land to have backyard grilling sessions on, but we’ll always have each other, and we’ll make our way in the world in the best way we know how.

To our Vampire Baby, Wiggle Worm, Sweet Baby, String Bean,

You were four months old yesterday – a full third of a year. You keep growing bigger and bigger – when we went to the doctor earlier this week, you were in the 90th percentile for height – 26 inches! You’re a bit on the light side, coming in at the 40th percentile for weight, so you may grow up to have the same build as Ethan. You sure love watching Dad cooking in the kitchen and are fascinated by watching us eat, so maybe you’ll fill out a little more once you get to eat big people food with the rest of us.

Your favorite activity is standing up and showing off your leg strength – I bet that you have all the muscles you need to stand up and walk across the living room. You’re still figuring our how all of your limbs work and getting them coordinated with each other, so you’ll still need to hang out in our arms for quite some time, and we’re happy to oblige. You’re happy with any sort of physical activity – swinging back and forth in Mom’s arms, rolling around on the bed with Dad, and being flown around the living room. You’ve rolled over by yourself once or twice, but haven’t yet figured out how to do it on a consistent basis.

You’ve started to notice music, and express your opinion vociferously if you don’t like some piece of weird music that Dad is playing. You adore having us sing to you – your favorite song is definitely “When I’m 64″ by The Beatles, but we also sing a lot of children’s church songs like “He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands” or “Jesus Loves The Little Children”. Mom and Dad sometimes run out of songs that they know way before you are ready to have us stop singing to you.

We think you might be teething – you’ve gotten more fussy than you used to be, and you’re quite the drool machine! You definitely have strong opinions about what you want from us, whether it be a change of diaper, some food, or something to chew on, and you make yourself known loudly. When you’re fussing during a drive in the car, that can be tough for all of us. Overall, though, you are still the sweetest baby we’ve ever met. You’re still a fantastic sleeper, usually nodding off within 10-15 minutes of us starting the process of putting you to bed, around 9:30pm or so, and then sleeping all the way until 6am most mornings.

We’re still madly in love with you, and we’re so grateful for all the time that we get to spend with you. We can’t wait to see what you’ll do next!

Aria came to visit! She was here for about a week, from Friday to Thursday. We really enjoyed having her come over, and Seth seemed happy to see her too.

Most of the week was spent doing pretty mellow things – hanging out at the house, going out to the park for walks, watching movies, or just spending a long time all looking at the cutest baby in the entire world. We had a fairly busy weekend – Betsy’s parents and sister came over for a huge brunch on Saturday morning, during which I stuffed myself silly on cinnamon rolls, scrambled eggs, bacon, potatoes, and fruit, and we went up to my parents’ house for Easter Sunday and watched Saben and Annika search for eggs and fill themselves up with sugar. During the rest of the week, Betsy, Seth and Aria visited various parts of the city (U district, Southcenter mall, etc) while I was at work, and we all relaxed at home in the evening.

Seth often has a hard time when being held by people other than Betsy or me – he’ll be nice for a few minutes, but it doesn’t take too long for him to start fussing and want to be returned to us. But he seemed perfectly content to be held by Aria. It was pretty great for us to be able to both be working on things around the house and know that he was in good hands.

We can’t wait for Ethan to visit, and hope that we get to visit the rest of the California family in the near future!

Aria arrived yesterday and is visiting for almost a week. Yayayay!